We identify with and strive to belong in various social groups, and reject identification and belonging with other groups. These social groups have defined certain conditions as valuable and desirable, and certain other conditions as fearful and unfavorable. Through identification with these groups, we adopt these desires, fears, beliefs, and thoughts that belong to others, thinking that they are our own, coming from within us, that they are unique, original, and individual.
What does it mean to be socially identified? An identified person’s mind is defined by the role or group with which they identify. One who identifies as a mother compares herself to other mothers and adopts the beliefs, desires, fears, and thoughts of mothers. A husband’s mind reflects his identification with husbands: he will think, act, and behave in the way that “husbands” are supposed to. Someone who considers himself a “good husband” will act in a way consistent with “good husbands”. In essence, identification means copying and adopting mental patterns and behaviors belonging to a social group as one’s own. The mind is entirely composed of such adopted, borrowed constructs which are based on social identification.
The social groups that we identify with are small and large, local and global, real and abstract. For example, one may identify with a nation, a religion, a family, a profession, a workplace, a group of friends, a music band or genre, a sports team, a political party; similarly, someone else may reject identification with these very same groups. Social roles are also based on social groups: husbands, wives, parents, employees, bosses, students, teachers, and so on are all social groups from which the individual role is defined. Rich or poor, smart or dumb, winner or loser, introvert or extrovert, and so on – all of these are also identities based on social groups.
A musician identifies with other musicians of his own genre, style, and background, as well as with musicians in general. A businessman identifies with other businesspeople, and a teenager identifies with other teenagers. A college student will refuse to identify with high school students, but will willingly identify with other college students. A Hindu will refuse to identify with Muslims, and vice versa.
Sensing a desire, or a fear, belief, expectation, or a thought, find its source. See that it is not your own – trace the external source, recognize the social role or group that it belongs to, and recognize your identification with this group. It is essential to observe this clearly in your own mind, not just to know it intellectually or logically. Seeing this firsthand, make it a practice to disown each socially originating desire and thought. And thus do not accept it, consider it invalid. Refuse to be identified with any role, or any group, unconditionally. Realize your own self by sensing inwardly: “I am myself, a unique individual, and am not defined by or contained within any finite, fixed role or identity.”
- “I am not American, Indian, Chinese, French, Spanish, Japanese; I am myself. This particular desire belongs to Americans, … not to me.”
- “I am not a Hindu, Muslim, Christian, Jew. I am myself. This particular belief belongs to Hindus, … not to me.”
- “I am not a mother, father, son, daughter. I am myself. This particular feeling or thought belongs to mothers, … not to me.”
- “I am not a husband, wife, brother, sister. I am myself. This particular fear belongs to husbands, … not to me.”
- “I am not Black, White, Brown, Mixed. I am myself…”
- “I am not rich, poor, smart, dumb. I am myself. This belief belongs to rich people, … not to me.”
- “I am not a capitalist, socialist, communist. I am myself. This desire belongs to capitalists, … not to me.”
- “I am not a worker, boss, owner. I am myself. This feeling belongs to workers, … not to me.”
- “I am not a winner or loser. I am myself. This thought belongs to winners, … not to me.”
In this way, become free of all social identities and simply be your own natural self.
Finally, even the sense of “I”, the self, is a social construct, not a fixed, individual identity. The proof of this is that you adopt different identities, personalities, behaviors, likes, and dislikes with different groups of people. You define yourself in relation to the people around you. But even when you are alone, you maintain a sense of fixed identity. Even this identity is external, socially defined, and not real, and must be given the same treatment.
As you make progress in meditation, you will start to identify as a meditator, or as a lucid or enlightened being. Beware that even these are identities, because they are defined in comparison to others who are not meditators and are not enlightened. You will adopt desires and beliefs and fears of meditators and enlightened beings. Then you must remember: “I am not a meditator, not an enlightened person. I am just myself. These desires and thoughts belong to meditators and enlightened beings, not to me.”
When the method is implemented fully, the entire mind and sense of self are found to be invalid, non-existential. Nothing is original, nothing is my own, not even myself. With this realization and this practice, a great burden is lifted, insight blossoms, and a state of pure meditative, blissful silence arises, a true state of no-mind.